Where's Wimpy?

The big move with Jason is officially tomorrow, but we’ve been taking loads of boxes and random items (isn’t it always the houseplants that leave you thinking, “Do I really need this fiddle-leaf fig tree?”, but then you recall the priceless memories you’ve shared - friends coming over for dinner, watching the SYTYCD finale and the NHL All-Star game, Christmas morn – all the while ‘Mr. Figstuff’ sat quietly surveying the scene from his perch atop the desk. That’s when you realize that you can’t replace that trusty fig). Anyway, we loaded up Jason’s fross’ (that’s friend/boss) SUV and my mom’s 4Runner with the second load of stuff last night, trucked it over there, and unloaded. The kitchen is completely unpacked! Thank Moses we have a lot of cabinets (and a pantry that I am overzealously excited about! I love pantries!) since Jason unfurled a bevy of kitchen appliances and implements that would make Julia Child’s heart flutter. The man even owns a special machine that makes pancakes! We watched the Project Runway finale sitting on the floor of our new place, propped up on pillows enclosed in garbage bags. Ahh, home! Re: the finale, I am totes peeved Carol Hannah didn’t win. Clearly, had she created felt hats with chin chains, she would have won that mothertrucker! Who knew “lack of a unifying theme” was a big enough gripe to lose the competition? Winner Irina’s collection looked like an impromptu assemblage of leather space hookers, but hey – what do I know? I’m just a female who buys clothes.

We also had the Thrashers v. Boston Bruins game on while we worked and good lord, it was a riveting final period and OT! It turned into an agonizing shoot-out loss after Peverley, Kozlov and Kovalchuk failed to deliver the biscuit to the basket. Next time, Gadget! I was happy to see Little back in action; I couldn’t believe those brown bear clowns tried to mix it up with the little Canadian dumpling. Do they know who they’re messin’ with? Bryan’s not going to get into a Boulton-style throw down; he’s a worker bee. Plus, you know he was the type of kid who enjoyed the quiet toiling of creating construction paper turkeys for his mom in Kindergarten. I truly think the reason for the Thrasher’s loss is that I have lost my lucky game day socks. You know ‘em, you love ‘em. They have Wimpy from Popeye on them eating a hamburger and every time I have worn them to a game, we have dominated the beyotch. An ominous miasma lumbered into my laundry room Monday night when I only retrieved 1 sock from the dryer. Cross your fingers that I can find my left Wimpy sock or else all hope of a Thrashers post-season run are, to quote Gordon Ramsay, “in the bin”.

I just whipped a ditty about the move – sung to the Beverly Hillbillies theme! {Note to TBC: another possible screenplay - “The Peverley Hillbillies”! You know Jimmy Slater would be an amazing Jethro Bodine!!!}

Come and listen to a story about Kristen & Jase,
Poor Revenuers, wallets thin with disgrace,
Then one day their lease renewals came due,
And they felt the time was right to combine the two

Homes that is, sweet cribs, domiciles.

They turned in their notices and packed up their wares,
They couldn’t wait to say – hey, we moved away from there!
They said Decatur is the place we ought to be,
So they loaded up the truck and they moved across the street.

Toco Hills, that is.
Whole Foods, Orthadox Jews

The Toco Hillbillies!